Things are going so shitty I hate this world! I hate this Job! I hate Everything! im feeling so low again I dont know what to do? i dont want to be a failure again and for some reason i think this is how my whole life is going to be, i was so hopeful and happy that things had changed but they didnt, only for a while, and i have this feeling that this is how its always going to be, I dont think nothiing is going to ever change yeh i'll be fine fo r a while but than i come back to these awful feelings again, im so scared i dont want to lose what i have, my new house, i love it there...what am i going to do and the stupid thing is that im doing it to myself, I stoppped taking my medication just to see how my body would react and i think im going to have to be on meds for the rest of my life, and im so scared that when i decide to have a baby im going to be a bad mother, what if i feel these feeling s when i get pregnant? how am i suppposed to cope? what am i going to do if i keep feeling this way, im never going to be able to have a baby than, i'll never be a good mother! why does this have to happen to me? why can't i ever get better i'll hav eto be on meds for the rest of my life and i dont want that!!!!!!!!what is wrong with me?????!!!!!!