This morning as i was getting ready for work this one song comes on, its called "i don't wanna fall in love" its some 90's song, and I swear as I was listening to it, it reminded me of going to Stagg High School for Summer School, it was so wierd, I almost felt as if I was young again, I remember the smell of the early morning air, I remember the cold breeze on my body, inside of the bus, I remember seeing and talking to my friends, Felicia...Willert...and of course Conrad...its amazing how time can fly by so fast, when your young days seem like weeks, weeks seem like months, months seem like years....and when your older weeks go by like days, your life seems to flash by with a simple blink of an eye. Its actually scary knowing and realizing that your life gets shorter and shorter everyday! I wish for just one day I could back to those days, of course with the knowledge that I have now, when your young things don't matter the same, responsibility was not even a word in my vocabulary! im still till this day learning what it is to be responsible its so hard when you get older. the decisins you have to make, money, marriage, children, family! all you think about when your young is...am I going to see my crush today? does he like me too? boys boys boys thats another story. I was taking a look at my old photo albums that I have teh other day, and boy did i look so young! you never notice until you look back, I was just a kid with no worries. all the things I took for granted! my friends! my family! my life! I think i'll always be haunted by the things I did in the past, the mistakes ive made, but you know what you live and you learn, thats what life is all about dont you think? you make mistakes and you learn from them! I know ive made alot of mistakes in my lifetime but I probaly wouldnt know what I know now if I wouldnt have made them, just the other day my friends and I were talking about what it would be liek if we were single again, and one friend said to em she would never date or fall in love again because she;s too afarid of getting hurt! I dont understand, why you would want to live like that, how are you ever going to experience life or love without getting hurt, thats the risk you take, to me life is all about risks, you'll never know until you try! I cant imagine anyone wanting to live a life alone. ou loe you live you learn! "To feel pain is to know your alive"!!!! Love is such a powerful thing some people sadly enough probaby will never find it because there so afraid of it. I know its hard, I never in a million years thougt I would fid true love but, im a true believer that there is someone out there for everyone! I used to work in the mall a long time ago, and I used to love to watch people passing by, all kinds of different peole short people, tall people, fat, skinny and I used to think to myself, "I wonder what there life is like"? I used to wonder if they were happy or if they had someone they loved? and I would see like the most oddest couple, and I would tell myself I really do believe there is someone out there for everyone! but the hard part is finding them! I know I probably talk alot about taking risks, but the things ive been through in my life, made me realize that life can ge gone just like that! all the things ive experienced made me learn more about life, and I know that its hard, I still have days where I wish that I wouldnt be here anymore! days were life can suck so much that you dont care what happens to you! whether you live or die! I know whats its like ive been there front and back! but HOPE is what keeps me going, HOPE that oneday thigs will be good again, HOPE for my future to be good! HOPE that my health will be good, HOPE for a family one day!