March 4, 2004
Let’s get straight to the point “WE GOT A HOUSE”! well this is a new one, see we were having to much trouble with the other one they wanted they wanted more money which was fine, but than they were giving the other people 5 more days and than 3 more it seemed fishy, like they were in there favor, so we saw this house in January it was 3bed 2 bath, with a built in pool and a hacuzzi but at that time we didn’t want that and it seemed expensive, but as we’ve been looking we figured out that that’s how much we were going to have to spend and the other house was asking 275,500 so we said fuck it for a few more dollars we can get it, so I went and saw it Tuesday, it has the 3 bedrooms that we originally wanted , and hey with all that it has we wont have to go nowhere for a while, so I put a bid on it and they accepted it yeh! I’m excited but, I didn’t want to get my hopes up and than it end up like the other one, but they accepted our offer and so its ours, it hasn’t sunk in yet its almost unreal! I have so many things I need to do before we move, I first of all have to find a renter, pack blah blah and than were leaving on vacation next Thursday to Florida, gosh I know this month is going to fly…. im excited and I want to call everyone and tell them, but because of the way they acted when we got our first house, and have been acting weird! I don’t want to sound like im bragging they already have issues with us, so I figured im not going to tell anyone yet, it sucks but hey. I just want to do good for me and my family, but theres always people trying to put you down, I try and tell them to buy a house but they don’t get it, oh well I don’t care. I just feel like since im going to be stuck in this hell hole called Stockton, this is the only way ill ever be able to do something with my life, and hey I never thought id have what I have now. My dream in life now since ill never be in Playboy or never be rich or famous I guess this is the only way ill be able to make money. Allrighty well see what happens so until than….
March 10, 2004
So today is my last day at work ive finished everything I had to before I go, so im just sitting here bored ready to leave. After work we are going to go see the house again and fill out whatever paper work needs to be done. I’m excited it hadn’t hit me until now its weird, scary, but I think im ready. We started to pack little things away like stuff in our living room, it looks so weird to men its almost sad I guess im going to miss my little house we got so used to it. But its time for a new adventure, it’ll be a lot of work, decorating and stuff but im excited it’ll be a challenge. And I know it’ll all be worth it in the end, Im just thinking oh God now people are going to bug us like crazy, his brother my cousins, and friends will want to come over all the time now. I don’t mind but sometimes its cool to have a little piece and quite. Like this weekend Leslie and Nicole came over and I don’t mind hanging out with them and all but they are on one and they talk talk talk and im like ok im tired I just can’t do it anymore I can’t sleep as it is! It’s a trip though we were talking and I never new how the same me and Nikki are, we suffer the same how we struggle everyday, its weird I cant explain it, but life Is hard for me the little things people do, and don’t think anything of is like hard for us, just emotional! Everyday things in life we struggle a little harder, we were trying to explain it to Les but people like her cant comprehend people like us, there stronger than we are, they don’t understand that things are difficult for us, like she thinks its easy to brush away scared feelings or sad feelings, but for us we can do it for a while but it always comes back! Just like Mark can’t understand how I feel were weaker than most people, but yet stronger sometimes. Just imagine a feeling that your very afraid of, or a very emotional time that you went through that’s how we feel on a daily bases. Well we leave tomorrow to LA and than Friday we fly out to Florida im excited I know were going to have fun im just fricken scared as hell to fly im traumatized big time! I hate it! Michelle gave me some valium so I hopefully will be ok, ill just sleep the whole way I don’t even want to think about it! So I guess this is it, hopefully ill make it back home, and by the way I kept seeing 1234 today more than usual is that a sign?