May 3, 2004
Things have been good ive been actually feeling a lot better ever since ive been saved I know sounds crazy but hey it seems some spiritual guidance was what I needed. I’ve been feeling better about things. I was watching TV around 4:00 this morning when Mark went to work, I couldn’t fall back asleep, well they had this infomercial about people who feel the same like me, it was like some self healing tapes or something, it was weird though like they were talking to me, well they said they had anxiety problems same thing I go through like everyday is a struggle, and how there depressed and everything is hard for them like driving and stupid stuff, it was a trip I thought I was the only one who felt that way, but they feel the exact same way! We all said the same thing. It was really weird. Well my house is finally coming together, we painted this weekend it looks a whole lot better its not dingy white people white anymore! It’s actually starting to feel like my house now. It’ll be cool when its done I want to do too many things. Well besides all that Mark found a cyst the other day when he was taking a shower I wont say where but its not in a good spot, he’s scared because he had one when he was in high school I guess, and he’s afraid it came back and now im starting to freak out he’s like im dying, I have cancer, im like shut the hell up do you really want to leave me by myself shit Id die! I know God will make him ok, im not worried.