I had another wierd dream last night actually I had three! I remember every little detail actually theres too much detail to go into but its wierd for a while I wasnt dreaming, and than i started having these really wierd vivid dreams lately I swear I feal like I was even sleep walking I cant even distinguish between reality and the dread world anymore. Im hallucinating I think if I dont talk to somebody or see someone soon Im going to lose it! ive been trying to get an appt. with this Psychiatrist but noone will call me back. I dont one day im fine the next I want my life to be over why do I feel like this? What is wrong with me? im like on an emotional rollercoaster!! Well other than my crazy emotions, things are ok thats why I dont understand these feeling that I have, ok so anyways Halloween was good we went down Beto's house to visit him for a few days in L.A. we went to the Queen Mary they had a haunted house inside it was the coolest thing i have ever seen I mean it was real! like some Freddy Kruger shit! We were all hella scared! I screamed like I have never screamed before Beto dug his nails into me like he was going to scratch my eyes out! Mark yelled like I have never seen him yell before it was the funniest thing ever! I love it! like a real horror movie! Well we pretty much hanged out all weekend, talked I really miss him alot, I know he misses me too! Its cool because we can just be anywhere and have fun! Sunday, Halloween we went down town L.A. they had it all closed off everyone dressed up it was neet alot of cool costumes alot of people bashing George Bush our new idiot president! dumb American hick people voting for a dumb ass man! but anyways it was really cool accept there was alot alot! of people we got scared at a point we were like lets get outta here you know theres always gotts be some idiots being stupid hitting and pushing everyone! Well I just he was closer to us!
Saturday was Joaquins birthday (Marks cousin)we had fun of course I got drunik I promised this would be my last time before I get pregnant yeh me pregnant to tell you the truth I might allready be! for the first time im happy! I actually am ready, ok but thats another story! I dont know when I drink like I said many times before I become the person I want to be I could probably see outside myself how I look like a drunk! Every body probably thinks im fucking crazy! and I probably get on there nerves I never even really thought about it until now its like once I start Im buzzing and the next thing I know im fucked up and telling everybody I Love them I mean Everyone! I am uncontrollable! Mark says that when I drink I want everyone to party hard like I do like I see just anyone sitting down and I want them to have a good time like me! Im too friendly, too wild but O cant help it I want everyone to have fun! I am a big peer pressurer I always make my friends do things they dont want to do and I swore I wouldnt do that anymore but you know how that goes!! well all I know is that I had fun and thats all that matters!
So my cousin Nikki shes been working on this poem book her and her friends and she put some of my art work in it its so neet she wrote some cool poems and dedicated it too us I wanted to cry! i think its really beutiful! The books called Midnight Dance! Well ive been wanting to write a little more about myself but I havent had the chance I swear I will someday before I go so everyone can know the real me ok time to go Monster House is on....