Sometimes things happen in life for a reason even though we don’t want them to, its like a wake up call trying to remind you that were fucking up! Well you watch drama movies everyday thinking shit like that will never happen to you, and when it does its sometime shard to take grasp of and realize that this is reality and it’s no joke! I know that ive made mistakes a lot of mistakes but I could never live with myself knowing that I could have put someone’s life I danger. So heres my story this weekend was supposed to be a fun filled weekend my best friend and another friend were coming down and we had planned to go out and party all night in San Francisco the whole gang it was Chatas birthday so we all wanted to go out and celebrate and so we did we went to dinner and than got ready to go out everything was cool we all new what we were going to do and it kills me because I had it, im the one that kept peer pressuring everyone to do it especially my best friend I kept pushing and saying if you come we’ll do it, and I know he was excited about doing it too. Well we picked up my brother in law and went to the club we all took it before thinking it wouldn’t hit us for another 30 minutes anyways, well after a while my friend Rene started tripping a little bit I know he was kinda scared trying to fight the feeling. And he was ok he was outside breathing fresh air and I started to trip out, I was praying and praying and I know this sounds crazy but when I do it I swear I can hear peoples thoughts, its weird,I knew he was scared, I started thinking please let him be ok I was praying saying please let him be ok I swear ill never do anything again! I wont get it for no one I wont have anything to do with it again please just let him be ok and I swear to you I could here God saying didn’t you learn the 1st time he said its up to me whether or not I want to mess my life up but you cant keep doing this to your friends and keep peer pressuring them to do these things, so he was telling Me he cant let this slip by anymore and I swore to him if hed let him be ok I wouldn’t do anything anymore ever! So right after all this I told Mark and he kept asking me for another one I was like no I cant and I told him what happened and I know he thinks im crazy sometimes but this was more real than anything as if I was talking to him on the phone or in front of me, so I didn’t give him one thinking I would never give it to my friends again, praying hed be ok and at that moment Rene cam by and said he was ok he said he didn’t feel anything anymore like it went away which was shocking to me like God had tooken it away from him and he was fine. Well we were all doing fine dancing having a good time mines had worn off and my bro in laws so we had tooken another one I didn’t care about myself. About 6:30 or something me and Adrian went to go look for everyone cuz we couldn’t find them,they were outside smoking and Beto was kinda trippin he had tooken another one I would not have let him if I new, an di had the feeling like something bad was going to happen like God had done it on purpose well I thought hed really be able to shake it off, it was already like almost 7 so we went back to Adrian’s and were all scared because he was like in a daze I just had a bad feeling something was going to happen that whole night, he started to have a seizure, started to foam at the mouth, and turn blue, so we called 911 I have never in my life been so scared its my fault! I did it! I put my best friend’s life in danger, im the one who was pressuring him to do it! Im the one who kept telling Mark to get it im the one who kept bugging him about it! Why do I keep making these stupid mistakes? Why didn’t it happen to me? I was never so scared in my whole life I know we all were, the ambulance came and we rushed to the hospital he’s been in there ever since Sunday morning he’s doing ok now I couldn’t go in and see at first I was so scared! I feel so bad! And I asked myself why didn’t we learn when it happened to Chata? I don’t know we didn’t take it seriously we thought oh she’s just a drama queen! I feel so awful no matter what anyone sez im always going to have this guilty feeling inside me. So I guess what im saying is No More! The ones that I had the house I flushed down the toilet I can’t keep putting my life at risk and my friends the people I love I don’t want to be any part of it anymore not with Leslie and Nicole! Nothing I feel so traumatized I guess! I can’t think straight, I can’t feel anything! I know that it was an awful thing, God makes things happen for a reason I think if I kept doing this shit I think someone wouldn’t be alive next time. Its weird I keep seeing all these signs like he’s pointing them out to me like on the TV the movie was about drugs and how they kill people just weird little signs keep being pointed out to me. We had to eventually call his sister and Kevin I know they were scared, and I can imagine how upset they were at us, I know they don’t know it was me who gave it to him but I feel like they do, like they hate me now I know Kevin wont want to come down here anymore, I don’t blame him I just don’t want to lose my best friend I love that boy more than words can say he’s like the brother I never had! He’s been there for me more than anyone else has. I hope hell be o.k. I guess he’s still there because they want to make sure his kidneys are going to be ok! I hope this never happens to anyone I love again, people fuck up I fucked up! I know better now! (I hope!)