I feel like complete and utter shit its about 12:something and i am so fucked up i drank a few beers, smoked a little, listened to a few sad songs, and watched some Dawsons Creek and i feel like killing myself again WHY??? im cutting my wrists waiting for the blood to come out but not much is only a little, i try cutter deeper i feel scared but i try harder anyways, this is the worst ive ever done or felt i dont feel notthing though! thats how fucked up i am this is real!!! i realy feel this bad!! i could kill myself and noone would now until around 3:30 when my husand wakes up and finds me in a pool of blood like in some horror movie!! my cousin leslie said the same thing too me today the same thing Cammille said like nothing, oh you like pain? i was showing them my tattoos and Nikki asked me if it hurt and thats when Les was like oh you like pain too, "ok why dont we talk about when i try to kill myself that'll make me feel better" i dont know one thing i do know is that these feelings are real and this how i feeel right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!GOD save me!!!