so things are going ok I feel a lot better about what happened its totally over i dont even want to think about it anymore!! were all still friends but why does there son hate me so much, so look here the deal staright up no lies im not ashamed of it anymore, so me and Sabrina had an affair, Marco knows Joaquin knows but for some reason little Joaquin over heard Joaquin say Affair and Chrissy so im asssuming that hes assuming that me and Joaquin are having some kind of an affair and its not even like that! nothing happened between us..... accept for the few times when we would flirt with eachother and i even flirt with Sabrina, but thats how I am I do it to everybody....so we went to church on Sunday and i felt hella wierd because little Joaquin was hella dogging me and than why did he try to shoot me. I know he thinks the worst to me but its not even like that theres only so much we can tell him without telling him the truth, what are we supposed to say "oh its not me and your dad but its me and your mom having an affair" he's to young and wont understand, i dont know i just feel so bad i dont know what to do and why do i keep thinking of them, i just wish nothing wouldve happened knowing that all this would happen, but its also strange because in a crazy way i liked it, i always wondered what it would be like to be with another girl, and Sabrina's for some reson i felt very comfortable with her. Marco's not trippin off me and her doing anything he just seems to think we all had an orgy and its not true!........ i wanted her not him!! you know me ive always been curious to know what its like to be with a girl and its not all bad , crazy as it may sound if i were not married id probably be bi-sexual...crazy huh? well so thats the drama i was so scared to talk about before but i had to let it out. And yes Adrian you better not say shit!!! hahaaha
Besides all that shit things at work have been alot better as far as with me and my supervisor, i think she probably got told something, and they mentioned alot of people were complaining about her, and when i sat down with Leslie i told her everything, the way she treated me , the way she always singeled me out. Everything!! i finally stood up fpr myself! im so proud, ive never done that before usually i let people walk all oveer me and just take it!! i guess it was the worng time to fuck with me all that happened over that weekend. well other than that ive been feeling alot better i still cant stop hurting myself though its just a way of making myself feel better i know sounds crazy but i cant stop!!!
Oh well we'll see how thing go from now on, Marco starts working with Joaquin pretty soon hope that works!!!!and there will be no problems...I just want us to be friends the way we used to be....they've been there for me through thick and thin....
Even though Joaquin said he was going ot let me die! and that i wasnt good enough fro his Cousin, and wasnt a good wife! whatever hes just as awful too...oh well we'll see how things go......