i look at myself and all i see is imperfections, i see a little freckle on my lip, my husband loves it i hate it i see it as a big flaw, all the bad things ive done in my life makes me the ugliest person. i see a wrinkle in the top left corner of my eye its another imperfection on my face, i see a sad person when i look in the mirror, a person who hates who she is, a pesron who wants to be loved by everyone in this world but cant stand to look at herself in the mirror, how could that be when she dont even care about her body or what she does to it or puts in it, how could i be loved by the world when i dont want to change, i dont want to change, i hate change! i want things to be they were before all this mess happened. i want to love again and be loved again. the newness is almost gone that first kiss, those butterflies in my stomach.... that smile!.... what am i saying..im so selfish i have a silver spoon in my hand how can i be so selfish! i want to be beautiful! i want him to think im beautiful! not just because! i want to be sexy! I want him to think im sexy! how could i be so selfish! wheres that smile? wheres that laugh i so often hear? why are there nothing but tears? why does my heart feel like it just got crushed? i want him to look at me and see what i want him to see..me..inside of me..more than just a goofy smile or a crazy laugh..or a dirty mind! SEE ME!!! DO YOU? i hope its not what i see........