ok so ive been feeling a little bummed over the past few days i couldnt figure out why, besides the fact that im feeling old and fat and ugly! something just has been bugging me, and i realized im going through an early mid life crisis, im going to be thirty, im planning on having a baby and a family soon, and im so scared! everything i have done and planned for is for my future and now that its here, but im starting to freak out a little bit, i feel selfish, i think about married life and think "im never going to be with anyone else" or "im never going to be able to do the things i used to do" i know thats bad but its hard being married and getting older, your life so drasticaly changes. You become an adult. i still feel like a kid, and i know that im going to have to grow up eventually but you know what , im ready i can say that im finally ready in my life to settle down, ive done so many things in my life, and i guess its about time i stop being selfish and grow up. i cant wait to teach my child all the things ive learned i life, tell them stories about how ive lived and learned, teach them to love one another and not judge people. theres so many things i want to teach them, i want to be ble to give them the things i didnt have when i was young. i know my child is going to be so spioled and so much loved. its just scary but i know ill be ok i know me and Mark will be ok..it'll be a new life for us and im truley looking forward to it...