I know another week of the same bull shit, boy I hate that im getting tired of hearing myself saying another monday over and over but hey, Well my weekend sucked Marco has been going over his bro everyday helping out, and ive been at home by myslef still refusing to help, so he's been going down there the past 4 days friday I stayed home all night by myself he said he was gonna be back in an hour and I watched THEY, FRIDA, and PUNCH DRUNK LOVE. so that was a little more than an hour I think so I was there watching Frida very good movie, I kinda felt like her like an artist again I wanted to get up and go paint something, and she drank alot so Im home by myself depressed and so I started to drink by myself before I knew it I had a whole bottle of spumante that had been sitting in the fridge for a couple of months and 2 shots of tequila so by the time Marco came home I was feeling pretty good. I dont even remember how we got into an argument or what happened but we did and I began to have a nervous breakdown, I started to feel things I hadnt felt in years I hate to write this because I know someone will read it and say dam this girl is crazy, so I wont go into detail but to tell you the truth I cant even remember what I was even crying about I think sometimes we all need to just let it all out and Ive just been feeling like I have so much emotion built up in me and I needed to let it all out so thats what I did, I feel so bad for Marco he doesnt know what to do when I get like that and I hate to hurt him. I sware as you get older you get more lonely. I dont have a brother or sister that calls me all the time or parents that have bar-b -ques, I guess sometimes I admit I do get jelous. But lately Ive been having these feelings I used to have when I was younger that lonely, somethings missing feeling. I love Marki to death and I cant thank God enough that I have him, but its more than just him, its me. I dont know what to do. So saturday I had a little bit of an hangover and I felt depressed so we stayed home all day watched t.v. and my friends were supposed to come over but of course they faked Summer and her woman came over she was allright she looked liked she wanted to go home, I dont blame them noone showed up except Cam and Fed and Nikki so we played a little 3 man and Summer left so we just watched a movie and that was it. Noone wants to do anything anymore I guess everyones getting old or somethin I dont know. And i was so pissed because I told Mark that we were having people over and his brother was having a bar-b-que at his house so of course he left me I had to clean the whole house myself and he didnt even come back to hella later. It was just not a good weekend. Well hopefully this weekend will be better were going to L.A. Beto is having a house warming party and im finally bringing my furniture back so hopefully this weekend will be better. Well everybody has those days and I have been haveing them for a while but i'll be ok like they say God never gives us more than we can handle........