June 4, 2004
So ive been on this new quest to find out who I am and why im here you know this whole religious quest, well ive been reading this book that my boss gave me, and so im reading it and im thinking to myself what happens if I don’t agree with what the bible says? Does this mean im going against God and im going to go to hell? See I have this philosophy about God I think God is a loving God, a forgiving God, a no limits God! Like a parent who loves you unconditionally! Im not perfect and even though ive been recently “saved” I know that im never going to be perfect ill probably live in sin for the rest of my life even though I love God with all my heart and would die for him. I know that ill never be sinless. See saved people, or really religious people think that if you’re not saved that your not going to heaven, and I don’t believe that for a second, im not really religious I grew up in a catholic family went to catholic school for almost 7 years, and I still don’t agree with what the catholic church says, but what I wonder is what about other people that aren’t religious? What about people that don’t even believe in God? What happens to them? I have all these questions and no answers, so I got into this conversation with my boss yesterday he’s really religious goes by everything that is written in the bible like its right and everybody that doesn’t believe is wrong! See, I see it like this, this “book” was written thousands and thousands of years ago by regular people who claim they heard the word of God and yeh I believe most of it because some of it is a scientifically proven, but things have changed from those days, its like people only want to go by only what applies to them. To me there all hypocrites! I think hes contradicting himself, like for example it says that were supposed to marry our cousins, do we do that now? No! why? because times have changed. And it also says that homosexuals are living in sin, and its ok for them to say that because it was written by some apostle that claims he heard God say that. Times have changed, of course it’s not “right” now a days to marry your cousin, you see what im getting at? In the big picture I strongly believe that as long as we live a righteous life, God will judge us accordingly! No matter who we are or how we choose to live our lives. I would hope that this is the God that I love with all my heart, I hope and strongly believe that he is forgiving and loves us no matter what, or why else would he have sent his son on earth to be persecuted for us? Because he knows were not perfect and will live in sin. It’s hard to make someone like him see things like I do. I think people like him are afraid! I think they need these guide lines or these so called rules of the bible, because there scared and need something to make them feel better about them self like there right and were all wrong! But they don’t see that you’re not supposed to take it so literally! I almost feel sorry for them like there missing out on a lot of things in life. Missing out on relationships with a lot of beautiful people, even if they are gay or whatever. I asked him “do you know anybody that is gay”? And he told me no, but he had acquaintances that were gay, see people like him that don’t know anybody, its hard for them to look past the fact that there gay, they see homosexuality as “sexually active, promiscuous people” like they stereotype them. Just the same way a racist person stereotypes blacks or Mexicans as only welfare receiving, stealing ghetto people, and were not all like that! There hypocrites to only live by what they think suites them, if your going to live exactly by what the bible says than do so! Marry your cousin, don’t have premarital sex, and don’t use birth control. How can you condemn something you know nothing about? What makes them so much better than anyone else? So what my last words to everyone is “God is love” we all believe in a higher power no matter if hes Mohammad or Buddha or what, if we all live a virtuous life and believe, God will judge us and none else should have the right to do so.