Another weekend gone by, my time home is going by so fast i know maybe its because all I do is sleep all day, but I cant help it I feel so tired all the time I cant get myself to get outta this house, this past weekend I finally went out for the first time in a long time. and it felt good I still feel the same though but I actually had fun this weekend. Friday me Mark, Biancha, Sabrina, & Joaquin went to the movies we went to go watch "The Grudge" it was good it had alot of scary parts from the begining to the end. we took Biancha because we always see her there by herself I feel bad for her she stays home watches Maddie and goes out all the time by herself while Craig works im scared ill be by myself while Mark works I hope I can be a good mother like that. Well this is it were planning on having a baby soon like now i want to i think im ready its just the more i talk about it the more scared I get but I know that were both ready to do this and its so funny because Rene came by the other day and was like so I hear you guys are trying to get pregnant I was like oh my god Mark told someone I know he had to have how could we be planning this and everyone end up knowing its funny how rumors go around he was like yeh Eric told Lisa told him blah blah im was trippin. I just wanted to tell everyone at the right time im not even pregnant yet! I could just see everyone talking shit. well anyways after the movie we went to Arroyos an had some drinks that was cool we finally got new friends Sabrina & Joaquin are really cool its funny how alike we all we have so many things in common i like them you know how you meet people and you just click, well thats how we are we click! its funny how we do the same things, kaereoke, drink, we both love horror movies. Its wierd. Saturday we went to Augie dogs birthday, my family I dont know they all dont seem to want to be into anything anymore everone is so dead i know everyone has kids but noone wants to do anything more I wish they would snap outta it I know they have it in them. That night it was Cindy,Sophia & Stephanies birthday so we ended up going there with our new friends there calling us to go out its cute. I had fun we went down Joaquins house and we got so drunk I was cool at the party you know I get crazy when I drink I become friends with everyone I even was friends with Karla Pins woman i saw her sitting down by herself while Pin was outside with the boys ignoring her I felt bad for her so I was like come on dance with me so we had fun I dont know when i drink as sad as it may seem I become the person I want to be, thats pretty bad I know but it helps me be more outgoing and friendly, and I know people want to be around me and one thing I learned from Nikki my cuzin is that people love to be told there beutiful im a dork yes but i was telling PIn Karlas beutiful I was like why are you out here with these boys you need to go inside and be with your woman & I was telling ERic about Ariana they probabley think im a crazy ass freaky lesbian! but people like to be told there beutiful if i cant feel good about myself at leaste I can make someone else feel good! So the for the first time in a long time I actually had fun its been a while today im feeling pretty shitty Mark is going back to LA again so im here all day by myself i hate it! im finding myself sleeping longer & longer today i got up at 2:00 all I want to do is stay in bed! i think im really losing my mind yesturday i was hallucinating thinking i heard Mark talking on the phone in the living room about 6:00 in the morning and than i keep thinking someone is going to break in and kill me! im not so much scared of ghosts being in my house but of some crazy person breaking in! I know I heard something I just feel scared ! Im supposed to call to make an appointment with a psychitratist i know I need to talk to someone that could help me.
OK enough of me this weekend were going to LA I cant wait I need to get outta here, so I know it'll be fun. Oh hey by the way you like my pix?......