So isnt this cool i finally learneed how to put pictures in this thing it isnt the picture i wanted to put in here but i wanted to see if it would work and it does technology is cool! ill probably be taking it off beecause you dont know how many wierdos there are out in the world. well its friday night and i just got done watching Evil DeaD one of my all time favorite horror movies yes im weird i like horror movies all because of mt best friend we grew up watching them when we were kids my husband hates them he was so scared when we watched 13 Ghosts he started freakin out so he was pretending to fall asleep right now. I havent really done anything just stay home this week went by so fast i practically slept it all away, i dont know ive been taking my meds for about a month now and i dont feel any better, i still depressed as ever! i dont want to go anywhere i sleep all day sometimes i dont even go outside and the sad thing is its been hot and i havent swam in over a month or so, i dont know whats wrong with me i dont feel like talking to noone not even my own mother! i feel im getting worse and im scared ever since we moved into this house thats when it started its been almost 6 months and i still cant shake these feelings im scared there never going to pass, i worry about whats going to happen to my future. Besides all this, i actually havent told anybody yet but me and Mark are trying to have a baby, maybe this is what i need in my life maybe i nee something to live for, im am so scared i never thought I would actually be ready but i am for the first time, my doctor said it would be ok for us, and i know that in mmental state i should be careful but for the first time in my life i feel like this is the right time i never in my life thought id be ready, this is me saying this ok i never even wanted kids! but i know its right! as shitty as i feel right now about myself theres just something telling me everything is going to be ok! Life gets so complicated when you get older, you start to have so many responcibilities and everything ge3ts so hard! i camt even make out my bills sometimes i feel so fucked up! I just wish everything would go back to being the way they were before, i just wish God gives me the streghnth to make it through this crazy life because i know im going to need it............