Another Tuesday, another day I feel like Ground hogs Day the movie, the same thing over and over. Well I spent the night by myself like every Monday I slept ok im not having paranoid dillusions, someone is going to break in and kill me, well just a little but im getting used to it im such a wuss, so I spent half the night reading these old journals Ive kept over the past 15 years and I was reading them remembering all the shit thats happened in my life, and back then how I thought that life was tough shit when your young everything seems like its the end of the world and you wanna die! but now l can look back and laugh at myself and say what a Dork I was. All the people that have left me with great memories and the people that have left me with not so good memories, the ones I wish I can erase from my mind. There was this person this ugly chango, noone has ever made me feel so ugly in my whole life, I was reading all the horrible things he said to me then, and its no wonder why im so fucked up in the head and why I have such low self esteem! I dont think ill ever feel good about myself, but I know ive come along way from the red head days believe me ive heard all the Annie jokes Its funny but its sad! when were young we dont think that what we say can impact the way we feel about ourselves. I remember in my catholic school days, there was this girl named Angela we were so mean to her, she was kinda chunky, we used to call her Orca, thats sad! I guess I got paid back! Who knows if this poor girl is fucked up because of it, I know I am, well to get it off my chest I am sorry Angela! Well reading all my old journals I cant help but say "live life to the fullest now" dont be afraid to talk to that cute guy say Hello! dont be shy! say your Sorry to the people you hurt! tell them how you really feel youll never know until you try! I know I wish I wouldve, I wouldnt have ended up wasting 6 years of my life with the biggest loser! thinking I coulndt get better. But we learn from our mistakes I guess, that's how I interpret what the meaning of life is...to learn, live life to the fullest, make mistakes, fall in love, get your heart broken once or 20 times, break hearts, hurt others, and remember every little dream you have and make it a reality! so in the end I guess all I have to say is Sorry and Thanks!