Another Friday it'll go by fast and before you know it i'll be saying dam another fucken monday. oh well i'll takeit as it comes..so im here at work chillin trying to finish up some shit so when fucken monday does come around I wont be so dam buisy. Oh well so this weekend Mark has 2 D.J. jobs on saturday so hell be buisy all day me all I wanna do is sleep i cannot wait!! and than Sunday is Marks dads birthday so were all going to some Lake and were supposed to talk about Rene's wedding that'll be interesting....They're planning on going to Lake Tahoe thank God! well everythings been cool I am just getting so dam frustrated with my weight I swore I would never get fat after I got married and now look at me now I am a big fat married hefa! I dont know what happened I used to be able to put my mind to it and just lose wieght easy but now dam its like the hardest thing I try and try but fuck! I cant Its always shi ra soni or CoCo Ro or Chilis! and Marks ass be eating pizza in front of me Its so hard I swear im ready to go to fat camp! every night I struggle what the fuck am I gonna wear tomarrow I dont fit in anything Allthough its strange but I grew some clothes that i have are like high watters on me wierd huh! well im gonna start this new diet monday and see what happens we both are! I would rather die than be fat I wanna fell sexy and look good for my husband I'll never live my goal of being Playboy centerfold or miss fitness America like Kiana Tom I just wanna be beutiful but I never will I look at myself and I wanna barf im like yuk!!! its hard! maybe i'll never like myself?? oh well back to work.....